Friday, May 9, 2008

I should be nominated for Mother-Of-The-Year....

Those of you who have boys will particularly appreciate this story. At the moment, Pip and Squeak, the youngest Dynamic Duo, are drawing a morel mushroom Pip found outside. This is particularly noteworthy, considering the week's earlier events, that I even let Pip outside any more.

Earlier in the week, younger BoyCub was complaining his stomach hurt. When I asked him where, he pointed to his bladder. I mentioned that the stomach was generally a few inches North of the belly button, not South. I was reminded it's all the same general area, Mom. So much for my Anatomy and Physiology classes. So I decided he needed to be drug off to the pediatrician. You have to understand how momentous this is, since my kids have to be close to death to be drug there. And of course, the minute we darken the doorstep, they are magically healed. I can't seem to take the man a child that is truly sick and easily cured. So anyway, appointment is procured, and since Pip has been having allergy symptoms for the last few weeks, but hasn't been properly diagnosed, I thought I'd haul him off too, before I just started doping him up.

We get in there, and the Dr. is poking around BoyCub's bladder, and we've already done the urinalysis, which of course is normal, and Doc says 'He's just constipated, and it's affecting his bladder.' Of course he is. Because I can't have a truly sick child, right?

Then he moves on to Pip. I told him I thought it was allergies. He starts checking him out, and says 'No, his ears are red, and he's got a lot of stuff going down the back of his throat. I think it's more than just allergies.' He looks a little further, and lo and behold, Pip has STUCK AN AIR-SOFT PELLET UP HIS NOSE!!! AUGH! An Air-soft pellet is a small neon green, clear hard piece of plastic, for the uninitiated. About the size of a pea. And it's obviously been there a while, since he has no idea how it got there. I asked him repeatedly, and the suggestions just got better and better. 'Maybe it ricocheted up there!' 'Maybe Squeak put it up there when I was asleep! No, wait, I go to sleep later than she does...' All said with a slightly apologetic smile and a shrug.

Son, I'm sure more than a few of these gray hairs have your name on them.

1 comment:

My Dear Family said...

ROTFL!!! See my post - all the money and just a virus. UGHHHHHHH!